Mr. Brightside

  My week from Hell has now come to an end! Since I finally finished all of my assignments I found some time to clean my room (which has been neglected) and some laundry. This should be a simple task, however, me and laundry don't mix well. Apparently, neither do black pants and yellow shirts. :( I didn't do this knowingly. i'm not good at laundry, but i'm not dumb! I did not notice my yellow shirt was thrown into the wash with all my dark clothes. It came to my attention that I had done such a thing as I was transporting my clothes into the dryer and noticed a nice yellowish/grey shirt mumbled into the darkness. Poor yellow shirt. And I'm sad not only because it was a great shirt, but I also have this weird thing where I only wear yellow when I write tests-- they are lucky! And I have a very limited supply of those gems and good load of tests. This is a problem. 
  On the bright side (no pun intended) I have now figured out my life.. somewhat. I don't feel great about anything and I am still confused. But, I have signed a contract for a house in Provo and have began transferring all my paperwork so I can be legal when I go. So it's official, i'm leaving Logan. I really try not to think about it too hard, because I am in love with Logan and I love USU. It's just so much money! I have already talked to people about coming back to USU to get my masters in 2 years- so perhaps I will be back!
  I think it's funny how I am always so stressed about everything and then in the end, it all works out. I do trust that I am doing the right thing, it's just hard sometimes to find that confidence in my decisions.  Throughout everything, I have found it hard to make all my decisions while being so far away from my family. Anyone who knows me will understand that I talk to my mom basically all day and I Skype my family on a regular basis. Regardless, it's not the same as being able to sit down on the couch together and discuss things. 
  Although I have struggled and felt alone I just couldn't help to notice how in tune my parents have been with the whole situation. My Mom is continually checking up on me and helping me accomplish my long list of things that need to be done. I have no idea what I would do without her. And then lately my Dad has been like a life coach, I don't know where it has come from, but it works! After talking on the phone with him I always feel more calm about everything. As I was struggling with everything, my Dad would always text me some 8 page text full of words of wisdom and encouragement. One night in particular, I was sitting in my living room contemplating my life- my mind was going 100mph trying to figure everything out. I felt alone and I felt like I wasn't receiving any help.  Just as I was sitting there getting more and more frustrated, I got a long text from my Dad. He  just wanted to tell me that I would figure everything out and that he had confidence in my decision making. I don't think he has a clue how much that meant to me and how that was exactly what I needed at that time. Since everything I was hearing sounded kinda like this.
  This whole time i've been searching for answers, but I guess i've had the tools to find the right ones all along. I definitely couldn't have gotten this far alone. Now if only my parents could do my laundry through texts and skype...


ONly 43 more days! 
  

Finding a Way.

SO stressed!!


I feel like my life goes in one giant cycle. I have a couple good months of stress-free goodness- I am 100% sure about what I am doing in my life and I don't doubt anything. THEN! I come across a point where I begin to question everything! I start thinking way too much and then I decide I need to do something different with my life and I end up in a pickle. This is exactly where I am right now.


I recently applied to BYU since it is half the price of what I pay to attend Utah State and it really is a good school! I just spontaneously decided one day that I was going to apply. I didn't think much of it afterwards and, to be honest, I didn't think I would get accepted. However, I got accepted! Now I have to figure out what the heck I am supposed to do. I just went down and spent the weekend in Provo with Lacey Holt and Kaitlyn Turner.

 They showed me around campus and got me all the more confused :). I have some major issues to begin with when it comes to making decisions, I can't even choose what movie I would like to watch at night, let alone choose a school for the next two years that could ultimately change my entire life! 


If everything I have worked so hard for at USU would transfer perfectly to BYU I would do it in a second. However, if I go there I have to take 5 religion classes and 3 extra GE classes I wouldn't normally have to take if I were to stay in Logan. However, BYU would save me around $10,000 dollars in the next two years! Pretty convincing if you ask me...
I just want answers right now and it makes me sick having to sit here waiting to see if everything will work out. I just want someone to tell me what to do! I have zero patience.


 In his talk, Waiting upon the Lord, Robert D. Hales said,"Too often we pray to have patience, but we want it right now!" 

I would have to say that is exactly how I am. I have been praying and fasting about what I should do, but I just feel like my answer is, "It's up to you!".... Not all that helpful. 
I know that whatever I choose it will work out and I will be just fine! I just don't enjoy not knowing right now! 

Then I watched this and decided my life probably isn't all that bad. I may have giant questions that I feel are unanswered and I may feel stressed about what I need to do in my life. Regardless, I know that if I am doing everything that I need to be then I will get where I am supposed to be. My questions will get answers. Everything will work out.

oh the agony!!